What Are The Top 2 Things About You That You Are Most Afraid Or Ashamed Of In The Past Or In The Present? And How Would You Or Did You Handle It?

Let’s start with mine. Mine is that “I’m afraid that people would know that I like to play and enjoy, that I am weak and sensitive, that I only appear strong in front of others; but the truth is, I am very dependent with my mother.”

I am very weak, easy to be angry of, and easy to be happy with; I act like I’m hard, but the truth is I am very easy. I barked when bad things about me is touched by any of my family member. By the people who think knew all of me from the very beginning of time.

I am ashamed that I deny my own self in front of others. I keep my own dirt hidden, my own failures and responsibilities hidden underneath the grounds, in the darkness. I don’t like where I came from and I’m ashamed of it.

I ran away from the truth, but the truth follows me everywhere I go. My own very self follows me everywhere I go. My own family follows me everywhere I go. My own tail follows me everywhere I go.

I hated my own tail from following me, because I’m ashamed of it. But nothing in this world can be hidden anyway. Once the sealed is open, everything will be shown. And before that time comes, I must learn how to face it and accept myself as it is.

I am full of anger, self-anger. I am angry of the world because the world is me. It is true indeed that what irritates you from the outside, is YOU in the inside.

And the best way to handle your anger is to understand the world inside you. And that involves knowing yourself, digging deep and understanding; remembering who you were and what you do before and after; trying to see the truth about you.

The truth that is your purpose. Why did you do such thing? Why oh Why? It must be for the good. Others did it out of anger and revenge; bad purpose. And whether that purpose is good or bad, it’s still a purpose.

And that purpose either made you become what you want to become (successful); or it burns you to anger and distress, because the same purpose comes back to you in an unexpected time of the day, like a thief; your ghost will come any time of the day, so be prepared.

I have learned my biggest lesson. And that is, to respect your parents whatever choices they made; even if it will destroy themselves. And the best way to respect them, is to allow them. Let them learn their lessons.

They are not child anymore. They are responsible of their own actions, their own thoughts and most of all, their own failures. And the best way to help them, is to have COMPASSION.

I am sensitive and I care; that is my greatest shame; not because I care and I sense, but because I care too much sensed so much. Too much puts me into shame; because when you care, you will do everything, even if it means self-destruction (anger).

People care and love too much, and so they became too angry, too sad, and too disappointed. It is true indeed, that there can never be too much happiness, without too much sadness.

And so, I learned to take things slowly. Be slow to anger, to joy, to love, to sadness, to disappointments. Take them slowly, and get only what you really want and need; and learn to share joy to others instead.

To never ever keep joy for yourself, blessings for yourself, but also for others to be in joy. Share your joy so it will multiply, and so in return they will help you shoulder your sadness, even to your own enemies. So, love your enemies, love the world, love yourself.

So, I encourage you to share your joy to the world. Express your talents and skills, and that desire that wants to be expressed. The universe that wants to be released through you. That creativeness that wants to be exposed. Allow, let it out so others will also enjoy.

How about you? Care to share? 🙂

And by the way,  I allow myself to play. Like toys (could be, bicycle, balls, many others); play with my hair, with my kitten and with myself in the mirror, or in my imaginations. Ha Ha

 

 

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What Will Happen When We Don’t Support Each Other

Everybody needs support. Spiritual support, friendly support, uplifting support, encouragements and many more form of support.

Now, what will happen if you’re friends and family members doesn’t support you at all. Doesn’t bliss you at all. It makes life so difficult. So hard to keep doing what you’re doing.

When I first worked in a call center, I felt very unsupported; I have no support at all; No one ever appreciates me for what I did.

Appreciation and praise is another form of support. Giving is another form of support. Anything that inspires you to keep going is a support.

And that’s what I badly need now. I have a friend who doesn’t know how to support but rather discourage.

He discourages me all the time, just like I did to my mother; now I understand how hard it is to be working alone and being pulled downward every time.

I feel like fighting every time; a lot of tension; I have to fight for support and I feel tired of it, and very discouraged; may the spirit of my mother uplift me and encourages me to do the thing I think is right and I think is best for me.

People think they supported us when they gave us bad feed backs all the time, telling bad stories about their families and throwing up garbage in our back packs.

Putting a lot of things that aren’t ours, it makes your back so heavy to carry. I understand how hard it is for my mother of me not supporting her of her quest in life.

She used to support me, always, but now; I don’t think she’s supportive anymore; she’s discouraging me to the top; she’s no longer praying for my success; she’s praying for my failure; because I did not support her of almost everything.

It’s really hard to carry your stuffs alone, like a turtle carrying your own home all the time.

If Jesus is listening right now, I needed his support and mercy; I needed his approval.

I am constantly seeking for approval, due to lack of confidence; not sure what to do; lack of faith and trust that things going to work out as it should be.

I will pray for support. I feel like, no man is an island; and yet it is true. I am very supportive in everything that my friends do, except my very own mother. I hated almost everything that she do, even supporting me I despise it; and so, she took it away.

I feel like if she’s supporting me, I will have to pay her everything she supported me; because that’s who she is, she doesn’t give something without something in return. Even a little support, I didn’t gave her.

I’m only reaping the good fruits out from her for myself. All for myself. Isn’t that very bad? The truth is that, I feel unsupported, so hold back in supporting others.

I feel like, if I support them, will they support me back?

Here’s Why You Must Stop Trying Hard To Remove Certain Emotion Or Feeling

Trying hard, repeating it, pushing it harder is a waste of time. Acting like it’s too hard for you so others will do it, is obviously just an excuse for our own laziness.

Feeling of hardship is simply just an excuse you make when you’re not interested, or you’re not devoted to getting something done, or making something happen, or getting what you want, or due to fear of the process getting it; due to lack of trust in the process.

Feeling of fear is an excuse of a coward. Things changed. Nothing is permanent. What happened in the past, will no longer happened in the future; or if it will, it must another scenario or situation, and the solution of the past will no longer work if applied in the present or in the future; that’s why it’s very important to see the difference between the present and the past.

A problem may look the same, but the answer is different. That’s what I learn from Mathematical Problems. It is very important to read the problem and understand it thoroughly, taking time to remember previous problems, comparing it and seeking for the similarities and differences.

One of my favorite exams is abstract reasoning, it is so funny. I remembered. When you’re confused, simply answer abstract reasoning exams and you  shall learn how to connect things in life together, in order to solve the puzzle.

Anyways, trying harder to remove a feeling is foolishness. It is always made clear that when you meditate, you don’t stop you mind, you simply observe on your thoughts and your breathing.

The same with hard feelings, you don’t remove it, because you can’t remove it; however, you can understand it, and release it. When the hard feelings keeps coming back, it might be that there is something you need to know about, so dig deep, and understand more. Meditate on it, and trace back.

Know yourself, understand yourself, go back to your past self, and understand why you did what you did, and so it saves the problem you are in. Understand the current bearer of yourself in order to set it free.

When you get offended by someone of their behavior, or anything that caught your attention, and made feel something; that self is you; it needs to be set free, go back to your old self, and understand why you did what you did.

Understand your own person, you don’t have to do anything, just be it; release it and understand it.

There is no coincidence. Life gives you lessons to learn and to remember to guide you in all your ways. It is listening and it’s always there to provide what you need.

You cannot remove a feeling of hardship, specially if that hardship is not yours; it’s from the person that is right in front of you. But you can let it flow, you can let it flow like a stream, soften it and release it, and just wish peace and friendship and condolences and respond to it gently, be friend with it; and think of it as if it’s someone else’s baby crying.

If you can’t understand it, then let it go; mind your own business; it is not yours; take it as a confession and don’t do anything, simply let the river take it to be processed and healed by nature.

By the way, you can’t stop a feeling forever, you can only shift to another feeling; so don’t hold it. Let it flow, for another feeling to take part, it will only makes you tired, distract your focus and day trying to stop it; it’s like literally stopping the wave from hitting your boat. That’s a very silly thing to do, but I still did. And of course, it’s hard and always failed. ha ha

But now, I know, and so I would rather observe while I let it go than tying to stop it hardly. It’ll kill you, for Christ Sake and for your loved ones sake, learn to feel safe.

Look around you, it’s not even true; it’s just a spirit passing by, be in peace with it, and say thank you for saving me Lord Jesus Christ and the spirit of the other people.

And again, if you can’t understand, then let it pass; if they wronged you of treason, know that everything is a choice, and there is a thinking thought that makes everything happy, do not blame yourself for it nor others, simply realize that it’s their choice.

A suicide is their choice. To die for love is a weakness.

Why Should You Give Only When You’re Happy?

Because, we don’t wanna make business. God wants us to give unconditionally, with love and affection, acceptance, and willingness to spread joy and happiness all over the world.

Giving because of pity will only make you get angry of yourself afterwards. But giving because of the hope of joy that you will get from it, is Godly.

When you give happily, the person who receives it will also be happy; and when you make someone happy, you make the heavenly father happy; and you will feel that multiple times the happiness you gave from that person.

Everything we do are just an extension of our feelings. We do certain things because we are feel smiling inside, we feel happy inside.

Others do things because they feel angry, they feel afraid, they feel guilt, they feel wronged, they felt judged, they felt criticized, they felt unloved.

Everything that we do is always accompanied by a feeling, an emotion; love that makes us move on and continue.

That if we learn to call on a specific feeling in any situation, and you don’t let the situation generate the feeling for you, you became a master.

A master is in control, not of other people; not over things, but over their emotion.

Masters knew how to shift from one emotion to another whatever that situation maybe.

They are the master of their fate, the captain of their souls.

So, we encourage everyone to choose to feel happy first before you give. At least power up your giving with happiness.

Yes, it seems hard for us sometimes to generate that feeling amidst a doubtful and unfriendly situation, but if you can at least find a little thing around you that could help you shift your feeling into a happy mood, and then you return to that bad situation, you will deal with it as easily as it should be.

Easy right? Think of being happy, and you will be happy; now hold into that feeling all day, and don’t let the situation change your station.