What Are The Top 2 Things About You That You Are Most Afraid Or Ashamed Of In The Past Or In The Present? And How Would You Or Did You Handle It?

Let’s start with mine. Mine is that “I’m afraid that people would know that I like to play and enjoy, that I am weak and sensitive, that I only appear strong in front of others; but the truth is, I am very dependent with my mother.”

I am very weak, easy to be angry of, and easy to be happy with; I act like I’m hard, but the truth is I am very easy. I barked when bad things about me is touched by any of my family member. By the people who think knew all of me from the very beginning of time.

I am ashamed that I deny my own self in front of others. I keep my own dirt hidden, my own failures and responsibilities hidden underneath the grounds, in the darkness. I don’t like where I came from and I’m ashamed of it.

I ran away from the truth, but the truth follows me everywhere I go. My own very self follows me everywhere I go. My own family follows me everywhere I go. My own tail follows me everywhere I go.

I hated my own tail from following me, because I’m ashamed of it. But nothing in this world can be hidden anyway. Once the sealed is open, everything will be shown. And before that time comes, I must learn how to face it and accept myself as it is.

I am full of anger, self-anger. I am angry of the world because the world is me. It is true indeed that what irritates you from the outside, is YOU in the inside.

And the best way to handle your anger is to understand the world inside you. And that involves knowing yourself, digging deep and understanding; remembering who you were and what you do before and after; trying to see the truth about you.

The truth that is your purpose. Why did you do such thing? Why oh Why? It must be for the good. Others did it out of anger and revenge; bad purpose. And whether that purpose is good or bad, it’s still a purpose.

And that purpose either made you become what you want to become (successful); or it burns you to anger and distress, because the same purpose comes back to you in an unexpected time of the day, like a thief; your ghost will come any time of the day, so be prepared.

I have learned my biggest lesson. And that is, to respect your parents whatever choices they made; even if it will destroy themselves. And the best way to respect them, is to allow them. Let them learn their lessons.

They are not child anymore. They are responsible of their own actions, their own thoughts and most of all, their own failures. And the best way to help them, is to have COMPASSION.

I am sensitive and I care; that is my greatest shame; not because I care and I sense, but because I care too much sensed so much. Too much puts me into shame; because when you care, you will do everything, even if it means self-destruction (anger).

People care and love too much, and so they became too angry, too sad, and too disappointed. It is true indeed, that there can never be too much happiness, without too much sadness.

And so, I learned to take things slowly. Be slow to anger, to joy, to love, to sadness, to disappointments. Take them slowly, and get only what you really want and need; and learn to share joy to others instead.

To never ever keep joy for yourself, blessings for yourself, but also for others to be in joy. Share your joy so it will multiply, and so in return they will help you shoulder your sadness, even to your own enemies. So, love your enemies, love the world, love yourself.

So, I encourage you to share your joy to the world. Express your talents and skills, and that desire that wants to be expressed. The universe that wants to be released through you. That creativeness that wants to be exposed. Allow, let it out so others will also enjoy.

How about you? Care to share? 🙂

And by the way,  I allow myself to play. Like toys (could be, bicycle, balls, many others); play with my hair, with my kitten and with myself in the mirror, or in my imaginations. Ha Ha




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